Amira had her first dose of Lomustine (CCNU) on Friday 10/9, the same day she got her staples out. Up until that point, she had had a pretty rough recovery having had an adverse reaction to Tramdol but continuing to demonstrate signs of distress/anxiety/pain even after switching to the Gabapentin, especially at night. She would pant/breath heavily for hours from the late evening to the very early morning hours. She developed what we thought were seromas as there were two occasions where there was wetness around her incision which we though were spontaneous “bursting” of the seroma. We though perhaps it was the seromas that was causing her discomfort and thus the panting. Although she was eating, it certainly was not with much gusto and she refused some of her favorite things like apples. There were a couple of brief moments where we though ‘our baby is coming back’, but they seemed to disappear as quickly as they came…However, after she got her staples removed (and the surgeon said she didn’t have a seroma…), i stayed inside the clinic to wait for the results of her pre-chemo blood test while Amira and daddy waited in the back of the SUV in the parking lot. When i looked out to check on them, i saw “my Amira” hanging with her daddy, looking sharp and alert, watching folks and their pets coming’ and going. Folks stopped by to chat with daddy and Amira was Miss Friendly! “Happy” doesn’t begin to describe how i felt seeing her being herself again!
We gave her the Lomustine along with the Cerenia and Denamarin Friday early evening as instructed by the Oncologist. She had a pretty good night with only about a half hour of panting before she went to sleep!!!! Saturday was a great day for her – she actually responded to my call from the kitchen for her to have her dinner and even played a little tug of war with me! We were so happy that ‘our baby is back!’ Unfortunately, Sunday (day 2 post chemo) was not so good…Amira didn’t finish her breakfast and didn’t even have any interest in a big ol beef rib bone with plenty of meat on it. She seemed lethargic and tired. She wouldn’t eat her Honest Kitchen + chicken dinner but did eat straight up chicken breast and ground beef with nothing else mixed in. The panting started at about 10:30 and lasted to about midnight, then she slept. She’s continued to be like this now since Sunday and today, the panting/heavy breathing started in the late afternoon and has been on and off since. She continues to refuse to eat anything other than plain chicken breast and ground beef (although luckily her love of Brie cheese remains since i wrap all the pills in it) and still doesn’t drink much. I’ve been getting liquids into her by mixing it in with her food and every couple of hours coaxing her to drink chicken or beef stock (the water i cook the meat in) through her water bottle. I keep hoping that even though she’s picky, her willingness to eat the chicken and ground beef is a good sign although i worry about her not getting enough nutrients…It seems like Amira just keeps drawig the short straw and falls into the ‘exception rather than the rule’ with her amputation recovery challenges and now, with the chemo side effects; she’s gotten a double whammy that’s for sure!
It continues to break our hearts to see her like this. I realized yesterday that i have not seen her wag her tail since before this whole nightmare started on 9/18… i have not seen her ‘happy’ except those brief few hours between getting her staples out and starting the chemo and even then, she was not the same Amira PC (Pre-Cancer). People talk about how their dogs got their sparkle back after 2 weeks; we’re still waiting and hoping that Amira’s will return soon. Sometimes i think i see just sadness in her eyes and i wonder if she’s trying to tell me something. She’s been letting me hug and kiss her which she NEVER would have done before so i wonder more, ‘ is she trying to tell me something?’ I am having serious doubts as to whether we are doing the right thing since it seems we are only causing her more suffering. Is it worth it to make her go through the chemo side effects every 3 weeks? Assuming it takes her a week to get over the nausea and fatigue it causes, that means she gets to have 2 ‘good’ weeks before being subjected to another ‘hell week’…I told the oncologist we were going to make a liar of her when she said prognosis was 5 months even with the chemo. I’ve read several studies re: use of CCNU treatment on histiocystic sarcoma and one specifically re: periarticular hystiocystic sarcoma, which had mean survival times of 18 to 36 months respectively, if used in conjunction with surgical recision/amputation. I continue to pray that all her suffering will be worth it in the long run! In the meantime, each day i battle the doubts that are in the back of my mind, the terror that the cancer has spread every time i hear her panting and her nose running and the overwhelming sadness that is like a cloud that envelops me. I keep wondering “when will our lives return to ‘normal'” or will it ever???? We are scheduled to go to Europe for 3 weeks on Nov 10 but there is no way i can leave Amira for that long now. We were thinking that if she’s doing well in the next 2-3 weeks then maybe we will go, but only for 2 weeks… now i don’t know what to do as i would hate myself for leaving her ‘if something happened’ while we were away…I wonder if i will ever feel at ease leaving her behind if we go away on vacation…i wonder if i’ll ever stop crying
Oh Amira and especially you, her mama, I feel for you! I’m Abby’s mom – the 16 month old Rottweiler who had amputation on 9/30. We are sending you lots of Rottweiler puppy tail wags as I know that is the one thing that will make you feel like Amira is your girl again.
I don’t have any medical advice as we are brand new to this journey, but I can relate to the questioning. Amira has had a really TOUGH journey and it just doesn’t seem fair, does it?
You’ve done your research, now you have to just give it time and trust your gut. Yesterday, just before Abby was supposed to get her stitches out, she lost her balance, fell, and cried so horribly. I was devastated to think she might have osteo (which was confirmed a few hours after the fall) in her other leg. I think she actually just got overexcited when someone walked into the room and forgot she didn’t have 4 legs.
I’m praying for Amira! Hang in there. We also have travel plans in December and I am paralyzed when I try to think about it. I think you and I both need to be patient to see what lies ahead. Your next chemo is still a ways away and hopefully Amira will show you what to do before then.
For what it’s worth, Abby became very picky pre-surgery. She is on Honest Kitchen with chicken now, but before I was giving her anything I could outside of meal times. She’d get a meatball just for doing a sit/stay. All her pills were in big chunks of sausage. At the vet post-surgery, they said she would only eat some expensive Italian cheese (another Rottie quirk?) but she’s more on track now. I used to mix Greek yogurt with her kibble, but now I’ll give her a bowl of it just as a treat.
Hang in there!
As always, thanks to all for the words of wisdom, support and understanding! It’s good to know that there are folks like you all out there who truly understand the pain and despair that we’ve been experiencing watching our baby go through this ugly horrible disease! Thankfully, since my last post which was written during probably the darkest hour of my life, Amira has improved greatly. Two days later (day 9 post chemo), she seemed to be better which coincided with a few things: I stopped giving her any meds including the Gabapentin (vet said we could ramp down); it was just shy of 4 weeks post amputation and Daddy came home from being out of the country all week. She was demonstrably happy when Daddy arrived home and the tail was wagging excitedly! I had scoured the internet for info on nutrition since I knew shouldn’t survive on chicken alone and learned about green tripe and I was able to find a store locally that sells Tripett Green Tripe (canned vs. fresh/frozen tripe). Well, it appears that my baby likes to eat stuff that literally, smells like poop because she ate it up like i would if I was eating Perigord truffles and foie gras on filet mignon!! By the next day, she seemed even better and by yesterday (day11), her sparkle had returned!!!! When I got home from work yesterday, she greeted me at the door with her tail wagging away. Yesterday and this morning, she actually came to the kitchen when I was getting her breakfast together (probably because she smelled the tripe) and gobbled it up all by herself without me coaxing and hand feeding her! When I picked up the Tripett Green Tripe the other day, I also got her Orijen dry food recommended by our ‘fancy’ pet supply store since she does not seem to like THK even with the green tripe in it. I had even gotten a box of the Embark thinking she may like it better than the Force, but seems like Amira is not a fan of TKH…Reading Dr. Dessler’s thoughts on dry kibble and cancer, definitely has me concerned but if that’s all Amira will eat, then its better than her not eating or getting the right nutrients I suppose…
In any event, I am trying to ‘be more dog’ and enjoying having ‘my Amira’ back even though I know that after her next round of chemo, she will likely experience the same or similar distress and will likely regress again. We will of course work with her oncologist to minimize it as much as possible now that we know her reaction to the Lomustine and that the Cerenia did not seem to help manage the side effects. Even though her trainer (who is actually her doggie grandma since her Rottie was Amira’s sire) is willing to take Amira if we go to Europe in November, we have decided to cancel our trip altogether especially since we’d be leaving shortly after her next round of chemo. Even though Amira seems to be doing better now and hopefully will continue to do so, I know that I would be worried sick being so far from her and I want to take advantage of having the privilege of being with my baby while I have the opportunity to do so.
I just re-read my post – to clarify, they confirmed osteo in the amputated leg. We think the other one is fine.
Also, since Amira also had a bad reaction to Tramadol, I thought I’d let you know we switched to Trazadone – a human anti-anxiety. We’re currently doing Trazadone, gabapentin, and carprofen – and an anti-nausea but I don’t know the name.
My heart breaks for what you are going through! I have no experience with this particular chemo, so I can not offer any advice. This journey is so personal and individual, only you will know how to follow it. I pray that you will find your way, know what is the best course for all of you. We had a somewhat difficult recovery period, and it seemed to take forever for his sparkle to come back, but it did! I hope and pray you also achieve this in your journey.
Paula and Nitro
It is soooo darn hard when your dog is the “exception dog” who has a slow and difficult recovery.
And it’s also hard to stay focused on the fact that Amira has, indeed, shown some improvements where her sparkle has come back!
You are doing EVERYTHING POSSIBLE for your girl! To not have tried to give her this best possible chance, even though her recovery is rough, would have caused you a lot more second guessing and regret. There is still reason to believe Amira WILL get her sparkle back on a continuous basis. It’s just taking her a little longer than some.
My Happy Hannah had osteo and her chemo was Carboplatin, so I’m no help there. I do know that loss of appetite and lethargy happen sometimes after chemo. It may mean the dose has t be reduced or spread out further. That also has happened with various treatments.
Work really hard on stayinf in the moment and not letting your mind jump ahead with crazy thoughts! Sooo hard! But because you love Amira so much and she is staying in the moment and not worryinb about a thing…you will too!!
Stay connected and feel free to vent and cry and scream here anytime! We all do!! And most of us feel better when we do! And, as we all know, keeping our energy upbeat and confident helps our dogs stay that way too.
One thing you might try is taking Amira somewhere she enjoys. The fact that she perked up when at the vet’s (okay, LEAVING the vets!) and being around people and being in the car, indicates that maybe a little change of scenario could help. Also, have someone she likes come over to the house in an excited and upbeat state and being her a treat. I’ve seen these tactics work a lot on here! Really, give it a try.
And another thing we do a lot of around here is get a second opinion! Your vet has eliminated any underlying issues, right? No issues with her “good legs”, gastro upset where she could use so e meds to coat her tummy, lunbs sound good, etc.? Another vet may prescribe a very, very mild relaxant for her to take at night. Perhaps another vet may be a little more proactive with her breathing issues.
And the fact that she IS eating…even if she’s being picky….is really good! And I love the visuals you paint when she does get her sparkle back…playing tug with you, co.ing when you called her, being Miss Friendly! We all look forward to seeing more and more of thise delightful moments…and they’ll keep coming!
Look forward to your next update. Hopefully some of the tips will help.
Sending lots of love!
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!
Hey guys, I’m sorry, your doubts are valid and there are MANY folks who also experienced the same thing. Please don’t feel like you are the only ones, I promise you’re not.
Did I share Barney B’s story with you? I can’t remember. Talk about a histio survivor! He is still loving life:
http://tripawds.com/2014/08/12/tripawd-tuesday-tilts-a-hat-to-barney-b-a-six-year-histiocytic-cancer-suvivor/
I can connect you with Barney’s mom in Houston if you want to talk to her, PM me and I’ll make an intro.
The good thing about chemo is you can stop whenever you want. If you decide to, know that you are NOT giving up, you are giving Amira the life she wants the most. It’s quality, not quantity that our animals want. A hard concept for us to accept but if you can live in the moment as they do, it’s a beautiful thing.
As far as that sparkle- my stubborn little pug Maggie did not play with me for 6 weeks following her amputation for mast cell cancer. She also started chemo when she got her stitches out, but it was hard to tell what was making her unhappy. At six weeks she finally got used to things and really came back to the pug she was before surgery. She did chemo for 6 months so it wasn’t that making her unhappy. She did get tired, and had nausea once, but otherwise tolerated the chemo OK. She also had CCNU as one of the drugs.
Don’t give up on getting that sparkle back- some take longer than the ‘normal’ 2-3 weeks.
And when you talk with the oncologist discuss her symptoms after chemo- they may be able to reduce the dose. As Jerry said, you don’t have to keep doing it either. You want quality time with your girl, that is the most important thing.
Karen and the Spirit Pug Girls